PHONE-ICATION

PART 1. KWACHUA FRESHA.

To me it was a dream come true I had really worked hard for this. My dream university and from the look of things it was all that I expected. BEAUTIFUL LADIES IN SHORT SKIRTS.  Yeah the kind that comes late and leave early. Leaving little to the imagination. I spent my first year in Room g3. Yes I will always remember it very well. It housed the four of us. Innocent souls from high school or so we thought wafula was that typical man from ocha probably the first from his village to come to nai. That guy who never shies from asking anything he doesn’t understand yet he knows nothing about the city which makes him a nuisance. John the mummy’s boy. Was dropped at the hostel door in a range rover by his mother and sister. I couldn’t help but notice the resemblance he had with his mother. Probably took everything from the mother and left the sister to take after the father. Ndirangu the guy who always had deals. Says he came from D. That’s all I ever knew about him. And lastly me. Kazungu.

One week down and university life has been all good to me. The food is cheap, no teachers to follow you around just me and the world. And all the beautiful girls around. On Friday we went for matriculation at the university hall, then that Friday night there was fresher’s night at the university hall then on Sunday we went back to the same hall for worship. Those girls who were in short skirts were now in long skirts. The bend over dance styles were now replaced with a slow movement to go hand in hand with the praise and worship songs. The only thing that could remind you of the Friday night experience was the public address speakers. I sat near the back besides me was Wafula but he looked sleepy I knew he would not last lond. I looked around to see if I could locate any girl who was here on Friday night but something got my interest.  Just in front of me sat this beautiful girl. She seemed taken by the priests summon, but for sure I cannot say what the summon was about because all I did was stare at the ladies.  All I was waiting for was wakati WA kupeana Amani (for non-Catholics that time during service when Catholics greet each other) and hoped that she could turn and greet me.  Maybe ill get a chance to smile at her and see if she will smile back at me.  Well I don’t know what realy happened after the priests summon all I can remember is wafula tapping my back..

”boss mass imedie, unadoz aje kwa church mpaka unang’orota”

I got up in a haste and noticed that people were leaving the church. The mysterious lady was nowhere to be seen.

“Mambo vipi dada” I said in the sweetest way I could. But she just looked at me from head to toe n back. The she looked behind her as I to confirm that it was her I was talking to, then she frowned as if she had smelled poop… as confused as I was I tried to smell my armpits looked at my shoes maybe I had stepped on some  poop but there was nothing.

Aii msupa mbona unanicheki ivo?

“si wewe ndo ulikua umeketi nyuma yangu church” she asked.

Eee. Ni mimi mrembo” I said smilling. I knew that this time round I had nailed it. Infact I removed my phone to take her number. As they say in campus all you need is a number. If not her phone number get the room number, so I used my best lines.

“mrembo nimenunua hii simu jana, si namba yako ikue ya kwanza kuandikwa humu ndani”

“kwani we ni fresha” she said looking annoyed.

“apana , zii, … mi …mi siwezikua fresha.” I said trying to hide my face.

“ for real, like you look so lame, and if we si fresha then sijui umetoka wapi, why should I give you my number na unalala church mpaka unaharibu hewa.”…

Wait a minute did I just do that?..