AFRICAN STORIES

TIPS TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP GOING TILL MARRIAGE

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Today in <a href="https://topinafrica.com/cheapest-way-to-celebrate-your-holidays-in-africa/" target="_blank">Kenya</a>, it is rare to find a campus relationship 
that leads to marriage. The percentage of those that do is 
continuously decreasing day after another. 
The belief that life starts at 40 can at times be mistaken to 
mean a good husband or wife is the one who came at a 
later age in life. As such, you will have tasted the waters, 
traveled through thick and thin and you are now set to 
turn over a new leaf. 
In this article, I will not dwell at the do’s and dent’s of a 
good relationship but rather examine 5 tips that will 
upgrade your relationship. 
A good relationship starts with good communication. I 
know good is relative so I will simplify this one to that 
relationship whereby you can talk all day from Good 
morning to Good night without getting bored of each 
other. The problem is, how do you make this possible? 
1. Listen! 
Everybody has the need to be listened to and fully 
understood. 
Sometimes mirroring or simply repeating what your 
spouse has said, is enough to let him or her know that you 
have been listening. For example, say something like, “I 
understand you’re upset because I didn’t take out the 
rubbish.” Or “I realize that you want to talk about what 
happened at work today.” Provide evidence that you are 
paying attention to your partner’s concerns. 
2. Set aside regular couple time 
Early on in a relationship couples talk as friends, they do 
fun things, but over time, those ways of connecting 
change. Work, family, financial problems, all have a way 
of taking over daily life and eroding the sense of fun that 
brought you two together in the first place. Bring the fun 
back – even if you have to book it into the calendar once 
every week. Sharing a physical activity, like a bike ride or 
a walk in the park, is especially good for lifting your spirits, 
along with your heart rate. 
Activities like going out for an intimate dinner, staying at 
home and playing music from your younger days, or 
watching a favorite film will help both of you to remember 
why you chose each other. If money is in short supply, do 
babysitting swaps with a friend and plan a picnic in the 
park. There are 168 hours in a week: make a commitment 
to devote at least two of those hours to your relationship. 
3. Don’t throw things 
Of course, you and your partner are not going to agree 
about everything, but in expressing disagreement to your 
partner, playground rules apply – no insults, name-calling 
or throwing things. If you disagree, do it in a civil way. 
Don’t make the other person wrong, don’t say he’s stupid. 
Instead, say: “You think we ought to do this. I have 
another thought about it.'” 
If your disagreement seems to be escalating, call a 
mutually agreed upon time-out, and make a plan to 
continue the discussion after a cooling-off period. Keeping 
things on a calm, even keel is better for your blood 
pressure and your relationship. 
4. Turn up the heat 
If your sex life is diminishing or you’re not having sex as 
often as one partner in the relationship would like, then 
getting your sex life back on track may be a priority. 
Think about your partner as someone you desire – and 
someone you want to entice to fall in love with you over 
and over again. Pay attention to your grooming, be 
romantic, and don’t take your partner for granted. 
5. Ask for what you want – nicely 
If there’s something you’d like your spouse to do, talk 
about it. How is he supposed to know that you wish he 
would bring home flowers or that a back massage would 
be a dream come true? Tell him – simply, sweetly and 
directly. Do not drop obscure hints – this is not a test to 
see if he or she loves you. It is about giving yourself 
permission to ask for what you want and requesting it 
lovingly – without accusations or guilt. If a few weeks go 
by and still you do not get those roses, have a second 
conversation. 
Seek expert help 
Sometimes relationship problems need expert help from a 
counselor or an external friend to talk to. Feel you need 
someone to let off something to, don’t hesitate to talk to 
#Nijenge at any time. Your joy keeps me going.</div>

RELATIONSHIP TIPS TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP GOING TILL MARRIAGE

Today in Kenya , it is rare to find a campus relationship that leads to marriage. The percentage of those that do is continuously decreas...

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Inventor wants to reduce your cost of electricity

In early 2008 South Africa’s state electricity utility Eskom 
was forced to roll out national power cuts as it was unable 
to meet energy demand. This “load shedding” is said to 
have cost the economy around R50bn (US$3.2bn) as 
shopping malls saw periods of darkness and mines had to 
temporarily cease operations. And while most South 
Africans and businesses felt frustrated by the challenges, 
one electrical engineer saw a massive opportunity. 
Johan Theron (68) is the inventor of PowerGuard, an 
innovation that allows businesses to moderate and control 
their electricity demand. This leads to more efficient power 
usage, to help reduce cuts and their overall electricity bill. 
The technology helps businesses to direct power to areas 
most needed and reduce demand in areas least needed 
during certain times. For example, in the mornings a hotel 
might be using more power as guests are showering, 
breakfast is being prepared and a conference kicks off. To 
ensure that the electricity doesn’t cut out during these 
peak times and to reduce costs, PowerGuard allows 
control over where power is directed. For instance, 
geysers can be staggered to reheat water (once guests 
have showered) at a later stage when there is less 
demand for electricity. 
“To put it into financial terms, we could save a hotel with 
a 100 rooms… between R10,000 to R20,000 ($640 to 
$1,280) a month,” Theron told How we made it in Africa . 
He has also developed another product, called the Elon, 
which is an easy-to-install technology that allows 
customers to seamlessly switch between their utility 
power supply and solar power to efficiently heat water. 
Combined with the PowerGuard technology, operators can 
supplement just enough utility power with their solar 
power capacity to ensure their water is properly heated, 
even on cloudy days. 
His innovation earned him a nomination for this year’s 
Innovation Prize for Africa. 
Beyond South Africa 
While load shedding made a comeback in 2014 and 2015, 
Eskom has stated there will be no more scheduled power 
cuts for the 2016/2017 financial year. However, electricity 
tariffs have risen considerably and placed a burden on 
businesses and Theron sees a large market for 
PowerGuard amongst companies looking to reduce their 
electricity bill and prevent power trips. 
He added that it can take between eight and 24 months for 
clients to see returns on their PowerGuard investment, 
depending on the system. “If they have got a boiler 
system they very often amortise within a year. If we only 
do the air-cons it can take up to almost two years before 
they amortise.” 
However, Theron has his eyes on other African markets, 
where regular power cuts are far more frequent. His 
solution can already be found in Namibia, but the 
company is looking to expand elsewhere on the continent. 
“If you look at places like Zambia and Angola, for 
example, they have enormous amounts of power outages 
and, at the moment, that is where this product is being 
aimed.” 
Solving Africa’s challenges 
Theron, who designed electronics for mining company 
Anglo American for years before starting his own 
business, said one of the greatest impediments to 
innovation in Africa is lack of finance. For example, just 
certifying new technology can cost thousands, which can 
be especially limiting for small companies or start-up 
entrepreneurs with great solutions, but small budgets. 
However, he believes that the innovations that will be 
successful in Africa will be those that are affordable and 
reliable.
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ENTREPRENUER SOUTHAFRICA Inventor wants to reduce your cost of electricity

In early 2008 South Africa’s state electricity utility Eskom was forced to roll out national power cuts as it was unable to meet energy de...

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AFRICAN ENTREPRENUER BRINGS A NEW FORM OF ADVERTISMENT TO YOU.

MyAds, the newest venture from Nigerian serial 
entrepreneur Simeon Ononobi, helps deliver 
advertisements directly to target audiences. 
The app allows advertisers to select specific 
demographics based on factors like gender, location, 
income and age. The ads are then connected to the 
chosen users, who earn reward points by allowing them to 
appear on their phones during incoming calls. 
The points can be exchanged for cash, vouchers, coupons, 
airtime, and other rewards that correspond to the MyAds 
partners’ products. 
Redemption partners differ from country to country, says 
Ononobi. In Lagos, for example, users will soon be able to 
use their points to buy bus tickets or get through toll 
gates. 
Rewards – too good to be true 
The size of the reward depends on how the user interacts 
with the advert that is displayed. If they visit the 
advertiser’s website or buy one of their products, for 
example, they get paid more. And there are conditions in 
place to make sure that the system can’t be abused. A 
call must last long enough that the caller has spent more 
money on the call than the value of the reward they 
receive. 
Partners are also paid differently depending on their role 
and contribution. “Let’s assume the advertiser pays us 10 
naira per impression. We give the user five naira, we keep 
five naira, which we give to different partners. So if the 
telcos are involved we give to them; if agencies that are 
bringing advertisers come on board, we give them part of 
that,” explains Ononobi. 
However, MyAds faces a unique issue in that many of its 
users in Africa see it as something that is too good to be 
true, finding it hard to believe that they could get paid just 
for seeing an ad. 
This and other snags, according to Ononobi, will be 
worked out as the company gains momentum, which it 
seems set to do: the app currently has about 80,000 users 
and over 15 advertisers, including MTN, Airtel, Pass.Ng, 
United Bank for Africa, Co-Creation Hub Nigeria and 
AfroCab. 
Solving global problems 
Over the course of his career, Ononobi has found solutions 
to many African problems. These include an app for GT 
Bank; Backup My Phone (which he later sold); SimplePay; 
and YouWIN!, a programme designed for the Nigerian 
government to drive youth entrepreneurship. 
These solutions were created within and for an African 
context. MyAds, however, will be different. He plans to 
take it global, as well as expanding across Africa. 
Already it has reached its first new continent. Launched 
September last year, MyAds has since been introduced in 
India, and is spreading across Africa fast. 
“So, South Africa, Ghana, Kenya, Tanzania, and Uganda – 
those are the ones we are going to instantly, almost 
immediately. They are where we’ve found great partners 
and where we have tested a bit – and the reception we got 
was really awesome,” says Ononobi. 
In India, MyAds users can use their points to pay for 
services like water and electricity, an option that could 
benefit African countries in the not-too-distant future. 
It’s important for Ononobi to try and solve problems 
experienced globally, not just those endemic to Africa. 
“The more I travel, the more I try to relate to the 
communities and the places I go to, to see if I can solve a 
global problem rather than a local one,” he says. 
Nigerian vs Silicon Valley 
Ononobi has been part of the budding Nigerian tech space 
for many years and believes that it could one day rival 
Silicon Valley. “Right now, before investors put money into 
ventures in Nigeria, you have to show some form, some 
kind of traction. It’s different in Silicon Valley, where all 
you need to do is show a great idea and you have 
investors just pumping money into it,” he says. 
He sees the Nigerian way as a stronger model. He believes 
that if ventures show that they will be successful and 
generate revenue on their own, they’re more likely to do 
well once they receive the investment needed to scale up. 
“M-Pesa should not be our only success story. We should 
be able to grow and teach the world what needs to be 
done. So I believe that all we need to do is just have one, 
two, three, four success stories and we will be bigger than 
Silicon Valley.”
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nigeria AFRICAN ENTREPRENUER BRINGS A NEW FORM OF ADVERTISMENT TO YOU.

MyAds, the newest venture from Nigerian serial entrepreneur Simeon Ononobi, helps deliver advertisements directly to target audiences. Th...

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4 tricks of geting an African lady to bed

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Having someone to adore and spending time with
is something every man yearns for in his life. But having a woman just for
s**** endeavors is something that every man thinks of a lot of the time. In
fact a man cannot stay for more than seven minutes without thinking of the
opposite sex. (Prove me wrong). But because I am a man I had to come up with
several ways of an African lady, honestly most women want the same things from men,
in that case then beautiful black African ladies would also expect the same
amount of chivalry that all women do, but it would not hurt to step up your
game on all fronts when trying to seduce an African girl, apply this tips:<o:p></o:p></div>
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1. Be yourself:<o:p></o:p></div>
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This may sound overly cliché, but it's true.
There is no bigger turnoff than a man who tries too hard to act like he is
black. Don't perpetuate stereotypes; it’s annoying, and most of all insulting.
If you want to charm her that you've got a class  
2.Show
your confidence side:<o:p></o:p></div>
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Kenyan ladies like a man who's confident.
However, don't confused confidence with arrogance. Confidence is knowing that
you are a good guy and acting accordingly. Don't be too aggressive and talk too
much about yourself.  
3. be chivalrous:<o:p></o:p></div>
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Kenyan ladies like men who treat them like real
women, No chivalry, is not dead. Open a car door for her or give her a hand
when it looks like she is carrying too much. This gesture shows that you know
how to be a real man and take care of a lady and that's very attractive  
4.Take
her for an outing:<o:p></o:p></div>
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This seems like she has ascended to heaven,
there are no extraordinary feelings attached to the time you guys spend
together in a place away from home.<o:p></o:p></div>
 
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But the
most important thing. Spend on her, spoil her, make her feel special and before
you even blink you will find yourself back home in the warmest space you’ve
ever been to screaming holy@#$#@<o:p></o:p></div>
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ENTERTAINMENT 4 tricks of geting an African lady to bed

Having someone to adore and spending time with is something every man yearns for in his life. But having a woman just for s**** endeavors i...

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TO EARLY TO COMMIT LOVE.

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I am a firm believer in true love. I do 
believe that there is someone out there for me who will eventually sweep me off my feet and make me wonder why I ever settled for anybody else. There is a lady out there for me, with whom I will celebrate countless anniversaries, Valentine's Days and birthdays. There is a lady with whom I will 
be able to get through any fight, distance or hardship, knowing that nothing will ever change. There is a lady out there with whom 
I will share an unbreakable bond, held together by the deep desires of love.</div>
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But not today.</div>
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I don't want someone I "won't be able to imagine my life without." I don't want someone to "have my whole heart." I don't want someone to be "my whole world," or "my rock," or "my better half." I don't want 
somebody who can understand me better than I can understand myself. 
I want to feel whole. I want to be my own rock, my own anchor, my own soul mate. I want to understand myself better than anyone else can. I don't want to look back 
and hate myself for altering my future for someone else when I know I wasn't ready to. That's why I don't want to find the woman I will love forever today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that.</div>
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For those who know me, you know that 
when I fall, I fall fast and I fall hard. I am a hopeless romantic who wears my heart on my sleeve. I simply love the idea of being in 
love. I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't have some type of interest in some type of girl. 
I love having a "texting buddy." I love feeling desired. 
I have gotten hurt a few times, but I always pick myself up and try to 
move on. 
Moving on is hard for me, though, 
simply because I love being in love. I've called very few my "better half" and my "rock." 
I've convinced myself that I couldn't picture my life without them. I'm starting to realize now that that's the last thing I want in my future relationship. Especially as 
a young man in my starting his 20s this year. </div>
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Before I enter into any serious relationship, I need to feel like I'm complete. And I need to be able to feel complete while completely alone.</div>
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Too many women depend on men to make them happy, and I would be lying if I said I can enure total happiness to someome myself. At this point in my life, I don't know how to be completely responsible when I'm in a relationship. I know many guys who can be, but personally, I don't know how.</div>
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I have dreams. I have plans that only involve myself. I'm at a pivotal point in my life; I get to decide where I go from here. I can travel, move across the country and 
make stupid spontaneous decisions, just because I can. As of right now, there is nothing holding me back from where I want to take my life (well, having a bit more money might be nice, but I'll figure that one out eventually). 
I don't want to find my true love yet. I'm not ready to settle, and 
I'm not ready to alter my personal plans for someone else. The only thing I'm ready for is discovering where my life takes me post-graduation.</div>
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I'm ready to move across the country. 
I'm ready to make new and beautiful 
memories with the people I'll meet along the way. But I'm simply not ready to fall in love 
again. 
As my university career is coming to a midpoint and I'm starting to find out what I want for my life, I'm beginning to realize that I never want to fall for a lady whom I consider to be my "better half." I don't want a better half. I want to be whole. I want to consider myself and my happiness as more important than any relationship I will ever be involved with.</div>
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Does this make me 
selfish? No. 
This makes me able to know 
that I can and will be happy alone, no matter how many heartbreaks might come my way. 
Some people marry their high school 
sweethearts; some of my friends have done so or plan on doing so. And I love them for that. I think their relationships are healthy, and I have loved watching them grow independently, even though they have a significant other. I admire them for that.</div>
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There is nothing wrong with already finding the person who you want to spend the rest of your life with at a young age. You can still live a complete life with a boyfriend/girlfriend by your side at age 20s. </div>
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But I know myself enough to know that I'm not at the point in my life where I can do that. 
I want to imagine my own life. I want to be able to navigate through life's exciting opportunities and devastating disappointments independently -- and if and when a lady decides she wants to join me, I'll still be able to have the peace of mind that I can do it alone. I will be able to imagine my life without her, because at that point, I will have already done it alone.</div>
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Many of you may read this and view me as a loner. Or maybe you'll think I hate the idea of love. Believe what you wish, but neither of these assumptions is true. Like I said before, I can't wait for the day I find my true love. I can't wait to be able to look a lady in the eyes, say "I love you," and know that it means "I love you forever." I can't wait for a lady to love me, challenge me and support me emotionally every day for the rest of my life. 
That day will come, but I 
haven't lived enough yet. 
I'm just turning 21. I have too many stupid decisions to make before I decide my fate. I have the rest of my life to find the lady who gives love a whole new meaning for me.</div>
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That day will come. Just not today.</div>

love RELATIONSHIP Stories by FELIX TO EARLY TO COMMIT LOVE.

I am a firm believer in true love. I do believe that there is someone out there for me who will eventually sweep me off my feet and ma...

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Mother's Choice

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" 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<div dir="ltr">
When I fall in love with a woman, I take her 
to my mother first before anything else 
If my mother says NO then I'll have no 
option but to let you go 
However much it will break my heart. Ill call 
you in a hotel room where you can't break 
utensils, throw pans and mwikos at me. 
I'll sit you down like a doctor sits his 
patient. I'll cap your face in my hands and 
wipe your chin with my thumbs, look at you 
in the eyes and wisper tenderly, " Honey, 
you are such a beautiful woman, a 
blossoming tulip, my only solace. A very rare 
kind and I'll never have a woman like you. 
And that is why I called you here. I want 
you to go out there and find a better man. 
A man that deserves you. Am not worthy of 
your love. I appreciate all the efforts you 
have made in this relationship. But they are 
futile now. It's in the past. It's a decision I 
have made. We have just broken up. We 
can't argue over it. Am sure you will thank 
me later." 
Because I fear facing your tears, I'll stand 
and walk gently towards the balcony 
You will run out of the room crying, I would 
wish to run after you but my mother's 
strength wouldn't let me. So I'd just glue 
myself where I am. 
You wouldn't mind about the rain falling on 
your newly plaited hair. You would run out 
of the gate and get inside a cab. You would 
look up at me in the balcony. I'd look away. 
I'd hear the cab speeding off with the 
woman I love. To a place of oblivion. To her 
future serendipity. 
I would go back to the room, pick a phone 
and call my mum. I'd tell her am done with 
you. She would giggle. I would giggle too. 
I can sacrifice anyone just to hear my Mama 
giggle.</div>

Lifestyle love Mother's Choice

When I fall in love with a woman, I take her to my mother first before anything else If my mother says NO then I'll have no o...

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WOMEN: The misprint in the society.

At this time three years ago, I was a happy 
man. I 
was in a stable relationship with a lady I 
loved 
to bits and was just beginning to live my 
dreams; I 
couldn’t have asked for anything else. I 
even 
stopped following actress Megan Good on 
Instagram 
and believe me that was a huge sacrifice, 
given what 
that woman does to me. All was well. 
Until that brisk Sunday afternoon; I had 
just taken 
a cold shower and was preparing to attend 
this hip 
hop event a friend had invited me to at 
Sarakasi 
Dome. Then she texted. It wasn’t one of 
her usual 
cheery “Hey boo. I miss you. What are you 
up to?” 
texts. 
No. This one was cold. Curt. “We need to 
talk.” I 
will spare you the details because I’m 
struggling to 
beat a word limit here; all you need to know 
is that 
she had met someone else. Someone she 
loved. 
Someone who loved her back more than I 
ever 
could. He was of European descent. And he 
drove a 
Blue Subaru Legacy. 
I moved on. I never really talked much 
about it 
after that. But a few celebrity situations in 
the past 
couple of years have caused me to reflect. 
For 
instance, I once read about singer Emmy 
Kosgei 
getting married to a certain Nigerian pastor 
almost 
double my old man’s age. And they called it 
love. 
Allure of foreign men 
I also read somewhere that it was some 
West 
African oil tycoon bankrolling Vera Sidika’s 
larger- 
than-life lifestyle. Chic posts flashy new 
pictures 
every second on Instagram like it’s her job, 
yet she 
can still afford a half-a-million-shilling 
weave, a 
quarter-million-shilling pair of heels, 
supposed fifty- 
million-shilling skin-lightening surgery, 
three nights at 
the prestigious Villa Rosa Kempinski and a 
holiday in 
Dubai — if gossip sites are anything to go 
by these 
days. 
Then I read again that one of my celebrity 
crushes, 
Habida, had said “Yes” to an Igbo mister and 
relocated to the West; that Avril has 
committed to 
a foreign man and wedding bells are lurking 
in the 
shadows and that Jolene of Tahidi High had 
received 
a brand new Kompressor as a birthday 
present from 
her foreign sweetheart. 
I read in silence. Profound— albeit 
disturbed — 
silence. And I wondered what it was that 
these 
bozos had that we,local men, didn’t. I 
wondered 
what it was that was driving our lovely 
women 
away from their motherland to foreigners. 
I 
wondered what a loud guy with an accent 
sounding 
like he had just swallowed a live frog and it 
peed 
in his mouth could possibly do/say to my 
woman to 
make her walk out my door and straight into 
his 
arms. 
The ladies told me we don’t treat them 
right, that 
our Oga brodas are as romantic as it gets. 
And I 
retorted that I know I’m a douche myself, 
but even 
then, I pull out the seat for my dates every 
once 
in a while. And I’m a broke, good-for- 
nothing son of 
a mere high school teacher, but I’ve once 
hired a 
taxi to and from a date. Come to think of 
it, I 
never even got laid that night. Women! 
Huh! 
Outrageous demands 
Some told me it was about the money; that 
our 
pockets just aren’t deep enough. Or that 
we are too 
mean to go all out. To these women, I told 
the 
story of a certain Phil [not his real name], 
a former 
campus chum of mine who moved his beloved 
out of 
the institution hostels into her own fully- 
furnished, 
two-bedroom apartment. With a 42’ inch 
flat screen 
television, state of the art sound system et 
al. She 
had these outrageous demands, which Phil 
tried his 
best to meet. 
He dropped by unannounced one weekend and 
found 
her entertaining another man, all over the 
couch he 
had bought with his HELB money. That was 
the ‘thank 
you’ he got. He came to me seeking a 
solution and I 
remembered that one time he refused to 
buy me a 
bottle of beer. He spent that money on the 
very girl 
who had now broken his heart. 
So I said good riddance and reminded him 
about the 
unwritten rule of bro’s before *you know 
what*. He 
broke my nose with a single swing. I didn’t 
care. I 
know I’m a bad friend. But you just do not 
refuse to 
buy me a beer then expect me to mourn with 
you. 
Karma is two-faced ugly *again, you know 
what* son! 
Lack of gratitude 
When I thought really hard about it, I 
realised 
that maybe we weren’t the ones with the 
problem. 
It could just as easily be the women. 
See, dating a modern day African girl is as 
demanding as it is tiring. You’d think you 
were pulling 
an unmoving truck glued to your bottom. 
You go out 
of your way to make her happy but for her 
lack of 
gratitude, she will never acknowlege your 
efforts. 
It will always start slow; you on your best 
behaviour 
and she playing ridiculously hard to get. You 
will 
take her to lunch, probably at Galitos 
(because that’s 
where all the ‘cool cats are’); buy her 
chocolates 
and ice cream on her birthday; take her for 
evening 
coffee at Gibson’s; meet her friends and 
act like 
you’re the nicest character on earth, 
tolerating all 
their bullsh*t and non-stop gossip; you will 
even take 
her out once in a while for a good time, 
where you 
may end up spending much more than you 
bargained 
for ‘cause these girls “don’t do cheap 
liquor” then 
hire a cab and drop her drunken butt back 
home as 
you walk. 
‘Used and dumped’ 
Then she will begin feeling and hanging 
around you 
more; getting touchy-freely with you all 
the time, 
calling you sweet names. The goodnight 
hugs will 
turn into pecks and then, with time, full- 
blown kisses. 
Then she will finally open the doors of her 
kingdom 
and you will slide in majestically, almost like 
a 
veteran soldier heading out to war with a 
Third 
World country, with the precision of a 
butcher. 
She will M0AN and scrεam your name with a 
few 
inferences to the glorious Man Above and 
you will 
feel accomplished, proud and more like a 
man than 
you ever had before. And a voice inside you 
will— 
almost boastfully— say. “Yes, say my name, 
Baby. 
Say my name. You smart. You loyal!” 
She will agree to a relationship the next 
morning. 
Count yourself lucky if she doesn’t ask the 
one 
question no man wants to hear after a 
R0MP. Hmm 
“So what are we?” To which my response is 
always 
BFFs (best friends forever). I’ve been 
punched by a 
lady before though, so gentlemen don’t try 
this at 
home. I know enough men who have been 
used and 
dumped. 
A couple months or so into the relationship 
and all 
hell will break loose. She sees you talking to 
another 
mami for two seconds and she goes red. You 
don’t 
pick her calls, even if you were just in the 
bathroom, 
and it’s World War III. You can’t go out 
with your 
boys as much anymore; she says she should 
be your 
number one priority, and that she deserves 
your 
undivided attention. 
Always criticising, fault-finding 
No matter what you do, she will always find 
a way 
to carve an argument out of it. You will do 
your best 
to make her happy but it will never be 
enough. She 
will even start comparing your relationship 
to that of 
her neighbour Tim and best friend Daisy, 
yeah, the 
same one who opens hεr lεgs to anything 
that drives 
and has an ATM card. 
She will want you to take her shopping, to 
the salon, 
even to the market. Not because she 
fancies your 
company these days, only so you pay for 
anything 
she sets her evil eyes on; Which is — 
basically — 
everything. See, I’ve come to realise that 
MOST 
African ladies are lazy gold-digging twats. 
Again, I 
said MOST…chill out “Kilimani” Mums. 
Neediness and gold-digging 
And that is why even a bigwig will say ‘Yes’ 
to any 
man so long as he can charter a helicopter 
for a 
whole weekend to Mt Kenya. African ladies 
want to 
secure their futures (which is not a bad 
thing, 
depending on how you look at it). It’s never 
just 
about loving or caring about her anymore. 
It’s now 
about what you bring to the table; even if 
she brings 
nothing herself. Leeches! 
Now as far as I’m concerned, African men 
are 
trying. African men are working their bμms 
off, 
feeding bimbos who do nothing but sit 
around in the 
house all day wearing yoga pants. We’re 
holding up 
our ends of the bargain. Then these very 
lazy, needy 
nitwits will be the first to walk out the door 
at the 
tiniest sign of trouble, throwing all the 
blame on the 
poor guy – and jumping into the arms of the 
next 
rich bozo that comes along. 
There are African women who know the real 
meaning 
of the overused word ‘hustle’. Those who 
understand 
the struggle that comes with paying their 
own rent. 
But there’s the vast majority that just 
wants to be 
fed off someone else’s sweat with silver 
spoons. 
I have said it before and have no trouble 
saying it 
again; gentlemen, you are wasting your 
time if you’re 
going out with a woman who won’t even pay 
her own 
bus fare; order herself the first drink at a 
club; buy 
you a mere 200-shilling-watch on your 
birthday but 
will be so quick to send you a reminder — 
two weeks 
before her own birthday — about that 
necklace you 
promised her; and a woman that, in this age 
and era, 
still texts you silly messages like “duuuhhh 
(or is it, 
daahhh?)”, “OMG”, “Xaxa” and “K”. There 
you have it 
ladies. African men are not the problem, 
you are!
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-W59MbrFu7Ok/VisAoSFmIiI/AAAAAAAAA70/Wk8iADHbnMI/s1600/Wife.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-W59MbrFu7Ok/VisAoSFmIiI/AAAAAAAAA70/Wk8iADHbnMI/s640/Wife.jpg"> </a> </div>

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